Happy 40th Birthday, Jake

I'll always love you. Despite everything you are still a brother. I miss you. Will the next 30 years pass without any contact whatsoever? The past 1-1/2 years have been difficult enough. I still can't believe I lost you. You should have been a blood brother. I think of you AS my flesh and blood. I tell myself various things, to put the pain away entirely; but a level of pain and sadness returns. If you only knew, beloved.